I have a real job!

CLICK HERE TO COME ONBOARD ​https://www.patreon.com/laurenostrowskifenton WARNING- I HAVE LEFT THE FOLLOWING UN SPELL CHECKED WITH NO EDITING I have recently written this letter to send to my dear friends and patreon supporters individually to each one- as an explanation...It all started as a timid explanation...almost an apology....And then after some thought it all got bigger and became an avalanche....and I rolled with it...I decided to place it here....and then i thought 'heck why stop there?????' and I have placed it actually everywhere. and today i went mad placing this letter everywhere blogging face booking tumbling stumbling you name it I did it! This is my vulnerable, motivated, inspired real self in all my raw 'weird' unspell-checked glory. yes i am weird!!! I am really weird and that is ok... and that is why i am who I am and that is soooooo ok. In future i will share this with you...all this about me.....how I am wierd and just how that is ok ....but for now I say this.....I am ok you are ok and we are ok...and dont let any body tell you different. DONT LET THEIR STORY BECOME YOUR STORY!!!!!! Thank you for taking time out of your day to read this :) I am a mum of four young kids...AND I AM SO LUCKY!!!!! I am a personal trainer. A counsellor. a writer, a blogger.......I do voluntary work....and so much much more...and then occasionally someone.... a particular someone...tells me to ‘get a real job’ and calls me 'weird' and other not so nice names that i wont list here....and I feel guilty. I actually listen!!!! They write to me , tell me, write to others, tell others. And I feel shame and self doubt. Sometimes I feel anxious. And sometimes a little voice inside me has said “you have little worth Lauren” or ‘ you can't do this’ and then there was a trigger...a final trigger... the trigger came in the form of unkind comment to me and amanda palmer.... in the last week the someone has told me again ....‘get a real job!!!’ ....and I felt bad...i felt really bad and wanted to give up...and then I found “Amanda Palmer” and I cried ...and I cried as I watched her http://www.ted.com/talks/amanda_palmer_the_art_of_asking?language=en AWESOME AWESOME Ted talks and her Patreon and her You Tubes. I loved the story of the eight foot bride so much!!!!!! Tears came my friend; torrents of tears flowed. And i thought to myself...”I HAVE A %$#*&^%* JOB!!!!!!!...and i am proud of being weird~!!!my job is to help make others feel ok about who they are and i am good at my job”..I CREATE VIDEOS PODCASTS LETTERS POSTS volunteer work AND lots of stuff....and ALMOST MY FIRST work book BOOK TO HELP OTHERS....( so close to being ready) https://www.patreon.com/laurenostrowskifenton I can do this. Help me to do this. I can ask for help now. 50 cents per month. Just .50 cents....Lets be a team...an 'us' a 'we' together as a team...Help me to do this. READ ON.... I HAVENT FINISHED....IN FACT I AM ONLY JUST STARTING... This is the letter I have sent my friends yesterday....my way of trying to explain Now I am going to hold my head up high. I do a massive amount of charity work, I help the marginalised, people experiencing homelessness, I give away my meditations...AND THAT IS &^%$#@*( MY JOB! So come with me on this journey my friends. Believe in me and I promise I won’t let you down. I am not going to hold back any more. I am going to be me and tell you the real journey of me. Click here... https://www.patreon.com/laurenostrowskifenton I WANT TO FINISH MY AWESOME BOOK AND DO SO SO SO MUCH MORE GIVE ME THE FREEDOM TO CREATE ​ ​Ok here is the letter.... Dear .....( sent out individually)My family and I thank you with all our hearts.....for staying with us. thank you!!!! Firstly I would like to do acrobatic somersaults with intermittent yelps of raucous delight thanking you for staying on board Patreon https://www.patreon.com/laurenostrowskifenton?ty=... ( or any other way you are supporting us) over these last months during which I have been largely absent. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. As you are my prime ‘take no prisoners’ supporters I am going to come right out and be candid with you. I am going to share with you what I am working towards achieving. I will not be this candid on any other forum. I see you as my team, my captive audience, and my friends. I trust you. Over the last 5 years I have been trying to find a sustainable method to support my 4 children, while still being a ‘I am here for you’ mum, and trying to honor who I am as a unique soul. This is not so easy ...as my children are young and there are some behind the scenes ‘hairy’ challenges. I am extremely positive, passionate, and full of ideas but so far none of my ideas have provided a workable solution. When I am knocked over I jump right back up. ...Soon after my marriage ended I completed my Masters in Counselling at Monash University hoping to get a job. Yet I soon discovered that the only jobs I could get which could support a family of five were in the city of Melbourne. I am based regionally 75 minutes drive from the city without allowing for the horrors of peak traffic. This meant I would have to hire a nanny and would be away from the home from around 5.45 am until 7.30 pm with possible after hours and shift work. Saying that I have applied for well upwards of 200 jobs. Yes I actually count them. I continue to look for jobs yet I feel that this would not prove to provide the best outcome for my kids. So.... not discouraged I tried hard( oh so very hard) to grow a home personal training business and/or counselling business. But after losing my beautiful personal training & yoga studio following my marriage ending people were not so keen to come to a domestic home. I also had no money for advertising, and would not advertise my home address on free advertising websites. Also my children struggled( 'oh' how they struggled) to be quiet while I counselled in the house. Following an occasion ( not the first by a long way- so many funny stories there) during which my twins walked into a therapeutic healing meditation asking loudly for potato chips I saw that this option was not so viable. I thought of making a living from youtube but this is quite difficult to do. It is also not culturally acceptable to ask for money directly through youtube. You Tube is culturally perceived as a free service. While I love to provide free creations and will continue to do so with gusto, and have also done years of volunteer work I cannot exchange these services for the boys basketball, bead and milk, or medical insurance. (pity)I have considered going to the local shopping centre and offering a sleep therapy for food but I doubt that my offer will be accepted( yes I am joking). There are also many trolls on youtube and I would prefer to work with a smaller captive audience who are legitimately interested in listening to me and who I am so that I may create relevant material which answers listeners core and personal needs. Despite these challenges I would not give up. So just prior to my 50th birthday I chose to write my first book( 4 years after my marriage ending). This has been a dream of mine for a long time. I devoted many daily hours, days, and months to writing this book. I loved loved loved the process. This is a book of my personal story, my day to day family life, and also a user friendly workbook to help others( individuals and families) to learn to practice happiness daily. I am very happy with the book. It will help many people. The book is currently 77,000 words with 40 exercises and it is largely finished. I am very excited about the book but it need several weeks of final editing with my editor and then I will learn how to load this on Amazon. I can do this. During this recent process I have had the kids sick with a virus, the boys had tonsils out, my daughter had a major bullying issue at school which required many school visits letters, and contact to the education board over several weeks. I have had the boys with Sever's disease( a non serious rapid growth condition), my daughter with a back problem, and my other daughter with a persistent allergy. And of course I take my role as mum very seriously. I am highly goal driven and organised but time is something I really don't have. I am so incredibly grateful that I am a mum of four amazing children. Every day I feel lucky and every day I take time to be with my children and help with their development. It is also incredibly tiring but wonderful. There are also some interesting challenges behind the scenes which we work with positively as a family. And....And over the last several weeks I have experienced another challenge( yippee). I am grateful for this challenge as it has made me realise that I have to be really serious about moving forward and being a little more ruthless with my career. I have to be able to ask for support and be grateful for that support. So saying that( and thank you so much for reading this far) And here( drum roll...)is my direction I will continue to work hard each day on the book to complete it as quickly as possible but not before I feel it is truly ready. I am training now for another bodybuilding competition. Most of you know that I have competed many times in the past. I find natural body building very grounding and it helps me to focus upon the task at hand. I love serious training- it gives me spiritual strength, health and direction. It reminds me who I am as a unique soul. I have gone back to loading regular videos. I love creating free videos. However I will now be more candid in videos in a positive way in order to support my core viewers rather than attempt to please the masses. I will be asking subscribers to subscribe to my podcast and I will continue to produce You tube videos for free. (excitement here.....Yay!!!) I am currently in the final stages of producing a twice weekly podcast. I will be asking podcast subscribers in the intro to donate $1 per month to Patron. I would like subscribers 'in for the long haul' so I feel that $1 per month is sustainable for everyone.( However there will remain options for payment)My podcast will be about uplifting stories about my personal life with a focus upon well being presented in a quiet relaxing voice with high quality binaural audio. I will be also interviewing people with interesting theories on happiness and well being in a quiet relaxing voice with high quality binaural audio. I will continue to work daily on my book with passion( it will be out soon and I will keep you informed) My prime focus as always will be.... every single day- my beautiful children. I will sleep every night for 8 hours and meditate each day as I am doing currently. ( We cant help others if we don't help ourselves) My focus will be building a captive team of $1 per month donations and sponsors through the podcast. I want the subscriptions to be possible and affordable for everyone. I will see my patreon team https://www.patreon.com/laurenostrowskifenton?ty=... and my podcast subscribers as my friends, supporters, and my own personal team. This is where I will place my energies now passionately and candidly. Thank you for reading :)I wanted to share this with you and again say THANK YOU. I will prioritise communication, letter responses, and future directions with my Patreon and podcast subscribers. I will keep you informed now of all upcoming news and let you know when the podcast is starting( not long...sooooooo excited). With much humility and gratitude thank you for staying on this journey. With love from Lauren Maya Sage Max and Seth